I think it’s safe to say we are living in strange times these days.
And while it seems like the end might be in sight, who really knows what our “new normal” will look like once we are able to move about freely again. And the nagging uncertainty if we ever will truly get back to normal.
However, there are some things that are guaranteed to happen in our beloved Denver, CO once the lockdown is lifted.
HOW DENVER WILL LOOK POST-LOCKDOWN
Colorado “natives” will resume complaining about all the “transplants” ruining their home.
Traffic. Oh god…think of the traffic.
Little Man Ice Cream, no matter the weather, will have a line wrapping around the block and up 30th avenue.
Friends STILL won’t all be available at. the. same. time.
We will resume (mostly unsuccessfully) our annual ritual of protecting our cars from summer hail damage.
Gyms will open and we can all start working on losing the quarantine 15.
Construction will continue to inconvenience our lives at every turn.
Weekend bottomless mimosa brunch will be poppin’ with astronomical wait times. But we WILL wait – especially for my fave, The Lobby.
You still won’t be able to afford a house in the crazy Denver market.
There will still be those stretches of Colfax (you know the ones) you avoid walking through.
We will need a jacket, tank top, sunscreen, and an umbrella within a matter of a few hours.
Sam’s No 3 will resume regular operations. Need I say more?
The light rail still won’t be fully constructed, and will need billions more in tax money.
Tourists will continue to be haunted by the Blue Mustang as they arrive from DIA. They just don’t get it.
You won’t be able to get from point A to point B anywhere downtown without catching at least four whiffs of marijuana along the way.
The city’s best rooftop bars will open, officially kicking off the best season in Denver (which is rooftop season, of course).
The first week of returning to the office will be exciting! Then we will miss the one minute commute of working from home.
Heated debates will divide friend groups on whether Chipotle or Illegal Pete’s is better (it’s Illegal Pete’s by the way, fight me).
Hiking enthusiasts will resume talking about nothing else – how many 14ers they’re gonna hit this summer, how many total they’ve already hiked, how early they had to wake up to do it, etc.
Giving (or receiving) directions will continue to include our preferred indicators of turning “towards” or “away” from the mountains.
The 16th street mall will fill with tourists, and we will wonder why we thought taking this route to get anywhere was a good idea.
Our hair and nails will continue to look ratchet while we wait months for an appointment at any salons.
You’ll have to circle for an infuriating amount of time to find available parking downtown.
LoDo will be littered with trash Sundays after some wild weekends bar hopping.
Nothing will taste as good as savoring that first pint at your favorite Denver brewery.
Some random factory in Commerce City will catch fire, and our Facebook feeds will be inundated with “omg, what’s that cloud of smoke?!” posts.
No one, and I mean no one, will make the “last light rail home.”
Accidents will happen on I25 during rush hour, blocking multiple lanes in the direction you’re heading (or worse, ALL directions).
Mountain traffic. Oh god…think of the mountain traffic.
Arguments and debates about who has the best green chili in town can resume.
City parks will again be flooded on the weekends.
People who haven’t driven in months will be confused again by all the one ways downtown.
You will almost hit at least one rogue scooter rider downtown.
You will almost be hit by at least one car while riding a scooter downtown.
Uber and Lyft surcharges will average 2.2x.